Who are the Coalition’s quiet Australians?
Are they drawn to Scomo’s circle by the gentle lilt of his “I love Stralia”? Do celebrations like Barnaby Joyce’s on election night, “Sucked in you suckers”, send them into a meditative trance? You can see them in their slippers quietly shuffling out to pick up the morning paper. Perhaps, they get there early to “catch it on the full” and avoid the thud of a hurled Tele or Herald Sun disturbing their quiet neighbours. If they’re retired, it’s probably off to the library where a publicly funded Financial Review let’s them check up on their Telstra or Westpac shares. If they’re workers, it’s always the quiet carriage or SmoothFM just loud enough to conceal the hum of the car that they have worked so hard to pay off in stoic silence.

We can speculate on who these quiet achievers are or we can simply have the great man tell us:

“I have always believed in miracles …How good is Australia? And how good are Australians?…This is the best country in the world and it’s THOSE Australians that we have been working for in the last five years since we came into government under Tony Abbott’s leadership back in 2013. It has been those Australians who have worked hard every day. They have their dreams; they have their aspirations: to get a job, to get an apprenticeship, to start a business, to meet someone amazing [pause for loving embrace of wife and swooning crowd], to start a family, to buy a home, to work hard and to provide the best you can for your kids. To save for your retirement and to ensure that when you’re in your retirement that you can enjoy it because you have worked hard for it. These are the quiet Australians who have won a great victory tonight. “

So what does this gracious speech tell us? Firstly, it seems one of your problems and one of the reasons you may not be part of this miracle is you are noisy. You’ve probably been thrown out of the Quiet Carriage … more than once. You’re fast with an opinion. You’ve probably been profligate with your money. Throwing it around on food or privatised essential services that form the basis of some quiet hard worker’s retirement.

Likely as not, your phone and electricity bill, your mortgage or rent are part of someone else’s investment “vehicle” or maybe their franked credit. If you’re on the wrong end of this relationship, Scomo has pretty much figured you as noisy and undeserving but don’t underestimate yourself. You are still an important part of this economic system. The giving part. Only people who have worked hard are on the receiving side of this relationship. The size of their investment portfolio serves as proof. So, if you’re young enough, there is still time to mend your ways and move towards the light. Be your own miracle.

I don’t know about you but I don’t meet too many of these quiet people. Where I live might have something to do with it. I live in Katoomba, just below the red 62 on the map, and it’s a pretty noisy place. The bush and surroundings are serene enough but it is a lively local culture. We have some great festivals and we don’t vote quiet. A lot of quiet people come up to watch how we have fun. Some even join in but only for a day. That is not to say I haven’t met Scott’s quiet people. They simply don’t let on who they are.